speak fuckin american goddammit.

I live in america. here we have a language all our own. sure, its still english, but its not. we have sayings and slang that you wont hear anywhere else in the world. and our accent isnt even hard to understand, as long as you're not talkin about people from the south... and british people, wtf language are you speakin? its not english; in english, apples doesnt mean the goddamn stairs!!!
...but that aint even my gripe.
the problem is these mother fuckers who come here to live, and never learn the fucking language. its like mother fuckin babel in this bitch. I dont wanna press 1 for english. I'm in america, calling a business in america, which provides services only to american citizens. and when I press 1, the fuckin mother fucker who answers the goddamn phone DOESNT SPEAK AMERICAN!!! sure, its english... kinda... when I talk to a foreigner I at least make an effort to be understandable. and if I'm talkin too fast or using slang they dont understand, I try to accommodate them, slow down, enunciate, try not to use slang... but this mother fucker... HOW THE FUCK did you get the job as the press 1 for english guy?!?! just because you can read english and understand it, doesnt mean you speak the fuckin language. I already told you my mother fuckin phone number, twice. I'm not givin your ass my SSN. no, not even the last 4 faggot. and you can suck my balls if you want me to hold for a second. transfer me to the black dude; he may speak ghetto, but at least its still american.